Self-care: Knowing when to Step Back

Later this month I'll be re-releasing a sweater pattern that was previously exclusive to Neighborhood Fiber Co's Sweater Club.

Officially, I could've re-released the pattern in April, but that seemed like a poor month for a sweater pattern. Pre-fall, just when people are starting to get sick of summer and are daydreaming about their Rhinebeck sweaters and other cozy knits, seemed a more auspicious time. 

I also thought it would be a great idea to knit a second sample. The original resides with NFC, and I planned to take new photos to go with the re-release. Could I have asked NFC to borrow the sweater for new photos? Perhaps. But I thought it might seem like I wasn't happy with their photos, which wasn't the case at all. I just wanted photos that were more my style, and that looked more fallish. 

And also, I wanted to be able to wear the sweater!

So, a few weeks ago, I cast on. I had worked through all my pending publications and could finally start a new project--5 weeks before I wanted to publish. I knew in my heart that 5 weeks, while doable, would also be challenging--this is a sportweight sweater, afterall--but I pushed the worries aside. I would just . . .get it done. I always work up until the last minute and this would be no different. And it would be worth it!

But yesterday, not even having completed the yoke, I had an epiphany. 

It would NOT be worth it. 

Having a new sweater and new fallish photos would make me happy, but it will not lead to significantly more pattern sales. What it would do would stress me out, trying to speed knit the sweater, photograph it in the 95 degree heat, and edit the photos by publication day.

Why was I doing this, again?

I love this design, and the pattern is perfectly lovely the way it is. It doesn't need new photos. And my family and business don't need me driving myself crazy trying to make them happen.

So, I'm not going to.

I will re-release the pattern at the end of the month with the original photos, and I will accept that, while the perfectionist in me won't be happy, the exhausted mom with enough on her plate will.

I will still work on my sweater--I do want to have one of my own, in this perfectly fall-ish shade and delightfully cozy wool--but it will get done when it gets done. 

And I will continue working on taking care of myself and ignoring my inner perfectionist.

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